Prayer Request

Friends and family…prayers warriors….brothers and sisters in Christ, I come to you with a heavy heart asking for your prayers. For those of you who are not aware, I have been dealing with heart problems (mainly with my pacemaker, but also just heart problems in general) for about the past two years now, on and off, and the past 3 months it seems to have gotten increasingly worse. I know that the Lord has all of this under control, and I am not worried about what is going to happen to me health-wise…but it is definitely frustrating and overwhelming. The most recent medicine my doctor put me on ended up making me feel way worse, and as of tonight, my mom and I decided I should stop taking it. I’m not sure what to do anymore. We are going to see another cardiologist in two weeks (that’s their next available appointment) to get a second opinion and try and figure this out. Please pray for some sort of solution to this, and for strength and patience for my family and I as we try and figure out what is happening. Thank you so much. ♥

If you want to know more about what is going on…feel free to message me and I will let you know…I just knew it is a long story so I decided not to post the whole thing.

Go vote! <3

If you are 18, and registered to vote, please get out and vote today. Regardless of who you vote for (though…obviously, I would like you to vote for the same person as me, haha), GO VOTE. Remember, you can’t complain later if you don’t vote now. ;]

Are you wearing your “I voted” sticker?! I AM!!! =D

To anyone out there with unfulfilled desires/dreams…

Today I was talking to Jesus about marriage/relationships/people, and the Lord spoke to me in such a strong way, and I immediately knew that this was something that He wanted me to share. I know that what was said here was in the context of the desire for marriage, but I deeply feel that this can relate to anyone out there who may be experience the gap between having dreams or passions or desires that have not come to fruition yet, but trusting that God is enough even in the midst of that. I pray that what the Lord spoke to me will encourage your heart, and strengthen you to continue on in faith and trust. <3

This is what the Lord said to me-(disclaimer: obviously some of it is very specific to my situation and my relationship with the Lord, but I still believe that God can use it to bless your life)

“Stop putting yourself down because you are having these thoughts and desires. So what? Just because you want these things, that DOESN’T mean that you are a weaker Christian, or that you love me any less. It means you are human. and a girl. Congratulations! Haha. Baby Girl, it’s okay! It’s normal! I’m not mad at you or dissappointed in you for wanting these things. I completely understand. The question is- what are you going to do with these unanswered questions and unfulfilled desires? Are you going to look to them to bring you happiness, and be discontent until you get them, or will you look to me, choose me, and trust that I will fulfill ALL the desires of your heart? How and when I do it is up to me. Don’t worry about that. I have it under control. Your only job is to allow me to love you, allow my grace to cover you, and allow your heart to trust me. Let my truth speak to you and nothing else. You are NOT immature, weak, or less in love with me because of these desires. You are human, and I knew that when I chose you to be my bride. These desires are good, and from me, and right now the unfulfillment of these desires is being used to strengthen your faith and take you deeper with me. I love you. That’s what you need to know. Not when, or how, or why. But that I love you. And I will continue speaking that over you and reassuring your heart of that until the day I can tell you that face to face.

I love you.”

Please listen to this song (it really spoke to me today while Jesus was speaking these words over me) and allow the Lord to speak to YOU. Whoever you are, I am praying for you. I know this is a tough road, but it is going to be worth it. The Lord, your rock and redeemer, is with you. And He loves you. <3

Can busyness be an idol?

(Yes, I still have many blog updates from Bethel to come, but this was on my heart tonight so I wanted to share)

As I am stepping into full-time ministry, I have realized that is really really easy for me to be “busy.” It is really easy for me to find things to do. Ways to help. People to reach. Girls to talk to. It’s all great stuff. And it’s for God, so it’s good, right?

Not necessarily.

And this doesn’t just happen in full time ministry. I have noticed the propensity (nice word usage, huh? haha) to do this when I was working full-time, when I was in college, when I was on a missions trip. It didn’t matter what I was doing. This need. This drive to constantly be DOING was always there.

But luckily, the Lord knows this tendency in me (and, I believe, in a lot of our culture) and is showing me in advance that I need to stop. I need to pray. I need to do only the things He has called me to.

You see, the Lord will NEVER call us to be so busy that it takes time away from being with Him, from relationships with others, and from our own health. That’s not the life that God has for us. It says in the bible that He has come to give us not just life, but an abundant life. A full life. Can we really live that life when we are constantly drained? When we are constantly running on empty?

How can we pour into others something we haven’t received? 

I have learned this lesson, what? 20? 30 times? But as I have grown in my relationship with Lord lately, by His wonderful mercy and grace, I am realizing just how much I need HIM. I need HIS PRESENCE.

And I can’t have that if I am running around doing everything with everyone.

We have this weird idea in our culture that busy is good. Busy means you are important. Busy means you are doing something with your life.

That’s not always true. Busy is not always better. 

Jesus was intentional. Jesus did a lot of things. But I don’t see Him as being “busy” as we would define it in today’s culture. He was never drained. He never ran on empty. He never exhausted himself. He knew how much He could handle, and He did just that. He did what the Father asked of Him. If that meant eating dinner with someone, He did that. If that meant healing someone, He did that. If that meant getting away from everyone and being with God, He did that.

My prayer is that we would be more like Jesus and less like this world.

That we would exalt God above this idol that we can so easily entagle ourselves into called “busyness.”

My prayer is that we would have the wisdom to do only the things God has called us to, and not run ourselves dry trying to fix and help and save everyone.

That’s not our job. We are not the saviors of the world.

That would be Jesus’ job. And He even He rested.

Lord, help this move from my head to my heart, that I would walk in this daily! Thank you so much for rest! Don’t let me take it for granted! <3